a birthday note

Life is moving forward, though I long for my sweet mom to be around. Just to talk. I have been experiencing the "normal" parts of grief and post traumatic life event...

Sorrow.
Guilt.
Anger.
Anxiety.

I don't like the normal, though I want to deal with it now, not when I'm older...As the days go on, I am feeling more normal again though having moments of heartache and sorrow. I have amazing friends, family and my sweet sister to talk with and help me through all of the thoughts that linger. Sometimes I think about how life is so fragile, taken in a moment. Missing the chance to tell my mom how wonderful she was and that she was so instrumental in making me who I am today. That is something I have learned through this. I will not make that mistake again, I will use my time to tell others how I love them and cherish their place in my life. To tell them when they are great.

Today is my mom's birthday, she would have been 60. It has been 3 and a half months since she passed away. Oh how I miss her terribly! I was hoping to take her on a little getaway for her birthday, she loved to travel. (That's where I get it from!) But now she is enjoying a much more delightful place than anywhere on earth, heaven. That is what I will think on... ALSO, I will enjoy my dad! I have loved being able to talk with him more these days. He is a great dad and always there when you need him, I pray for him to have strength and peace in this time.

Here is my favorite picture of us.

This time of year will bring lots of memories to my mind, but I have decided to rejoice in them. I am truly thankful for all the time I had with my mom while she was still here and she loved Christmastime. She loved football and cold weather; hot tea and a good smelling candle. Happy Birthday mom, I miss you with all of my heart.

The Bible says in Romans 5:3-5,

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Hope does not disappoint... a friend of mine just had that tattooed on her arm. I love that. 
Next post I will give an update on David!