Update and Big Family Changes

Holy Moly, it's been awhile.

Maybe it's because life is just happening and there wasn't much to report... but things are changing around here like wildfire. And it felt like a good time to open the blog again.

First of all, we moved to Colorado about 1 1/2 years ago and we absolutely love it. Every mountain-y fresh inch of it. We love the people, the view, the crazy weather, our house, our church... all of it. We don't have much complaining going on, Joel has a sweet job here with the Marines, no deployments, it's quite nice.

David has been growing big time this year... in February the doctor told me he didn't gain any weight in about 9 months and that I might need to see a nutritionist and I asked for 3 months (I def didn't want to add to our list of appointments). And wow, he gained nearly 5 pounds in that time and 8 pounds total in less than a year. He is so big and finally bulky like a boy! He is starting to get his own identity (and some sass), has some very insightful things to say, playing like a rough and tumble boy, likes to get the sister riled up, walking has drastically improved, and overall a delight. He loves to sing, ride horses (therapeutic), play with cars, ride his bike (!!!!!) and watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.

David is always walking now, he does have a funny step to it and Anna is always asking about why that is and if it will ever improve. My answer is I don't know... and we can keep on praying to God for that. Anna's heart is so sweet for her brother to be able to run and jump like others. David uses his left hand almost all of the time now. He does still get frustrated with it but it's amazing to see the improvement. He speaks great and a lot. I don't know even what else to say about him except that we love him and feel blessed by how God has worked in him.

So... on to the big shift in family life. Joel and I have been thinking about adoption for quite a while. Probably as far as 2 years ago. Life was crazy, we moved, sort of forgot for a bit, then we had orphan Sunday at our church. God stirred in our hearts, and we signed up to take classes in Jan with the county for foster/adoption. We went through the process -- tons of classes, a home study and lots of paperwork. Finally (9 months later), we had decided to maybe just do respite for awhile for a few reasons UNLESS the perfect case would present itself. Well... a few days before we were officially certified our caseworker presented us 2 little girls, sisters, who were foster to adopt children. A 4 week old and a 2 1/2 year old. WHAT?! It was quite a shock but didn't take long to say YES! We had only a few days to decide and they would be in our home in 3 days! So, we got ourselves together, some friends were very generous with their things (huge help!) and Monday afternoon our family increased to 6!

I have to be honest I wasn't expecting such young children... or maybe my heart wasn't letting me think that something like this could happen. Birth order (0,2,4,6)? A new baby? Woah. And possible adoption? (Amazing.)

Before we get too excited... the county's promise is that they will do anything and everything to reunify the kids with their family. Which seems crazy at first, until you do the research and read the studies... it is the best for them. We don't know details about how long or when things will be decided, could be 6 months to 2 years!

So, for a little over a month we have enjoyed the sweetest, cutest little girls. They are amazing and adjusting well. The toddler's speech is slightly delayed, she doesn't ask much about parents or seem to be having too much trouble with the change. Definitely positively attaching to me. The baby is far more calm and sweet than even my own kids were at 2 months!!! Other than that our house is noisy, there is a ton of laundry, lots of spills, giggles, dancing, playing, fighting, eating and it takes much longer to get in the car. Normal stuff. Our kids are doing well (a little hard in the beginning). Lots of questions about keeping the girls come up and we just reinforce that we are taking care of them until they have to go home (or they get to be home with us). Joel said it well one day when I asked him how he was doing and his thoughts, he said, I assume and will treat them like they are ours until they are not. Such wise and practical words from my sweet husband.

Though I cannot share the full details of this adventure and all the whys (which some I don't even know anyhow). I will say would you pray with us. That God would bless our home/family, bless the girls and their parents (healing and reunification -- the kids have not had a visit in a month and that is extremely rare, the parents are not showing up), give us wisdom as we walk this journey and most importantly that we would lean on God through it all.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers, truly could not do all of this without it!

a 3rd Birthday!

How blessed are we? David is 3 years old, a sweet and crazy boy! It has been awhile since I have updated so maybe I will brag a little about his skills (all credit to the Lord, of course!). Each day I am amazed at the incredible things he can do. Let me give you a few examples...

**The other day we were in the doctor's office and he decided to open all of the drawers, but open to all the same length, not all the way out but about halfway, then he proceeded to hide my chapstick in them!
**When things are out of order, I am always told to put them back, such a bossy one... (i.e. cabinets open, the vacuum out, etc.).
**He LOVES to throw anything in the trash, he jumps right on it if he sees me carrying something. **He loves to feed Roxy, though all of the food doesn't make it in the bowl.
**He is trying very hard to get the knack of walking, he can take about 5-6 steps pretty easy and then loses his balance. Walking around furniture is very easy... in November-ish his favorite thing to do was stand up on Anna's cushy chair and look out her window! Which leads me to the the next thing.
**He is just now able to get up on the couch... he is not very flexible. Just the other day I told him he could pick a movie (even though he does not watch them!), so quickly he got on the couch and was looking over the back faster than I could run over and make sure he didn't fall right over, head first! I do not want to start height falling! He already falls and smashes his head enough for this mama.
**He is using his left hand more and more... it started off with markers. Trying to take the cap off and on, off and on, etc. After much frustration, he can do it now! Thank goodness we have some color wonder markers because his hands were getting quite marked up! He has learned how to use his left hand to hold things, while unscrewing caps, feeding babies, etc. It is truly an answer to prayer! I will never give up praying for a full recovery!
**Watch for a picture... I will post some favorite things of his!

So, we celebrated David's birthday at Chuck E Cheese's this year! We got home and he replayed all that he did, it was very sweet! He and his friends had a blast... in fact we called it a trash can blast! Weird theme but I chose something that David really likes! He always points them out and loves to empty and refill the office one, which is just his size! Here are some pics! We had pizza, muffins, and played a ton of games.

favorite froggy game!

 

What else...? Let's see David can count to ten easily, sing a lot of songs (which he impressed the doctor at his 3 year visit when he carried a tune!), knows some colors, drinks out of an open cup sometimes, loves sweets, hitting the teeball, playing in the rocks, sliding down slides, can do puzzles (board ones easily), can cut paper, build a tall tower of blocks, and more! His favorite person is still his sister, he is so sad when she has to go somewhere without him, and he always wants to play with her... even if they fight a lot! It is an interesting stage, learning how to share and being kind to others can be time consuming and a bit hair-raising for me! You should hear Anna, she is so cute. She will introduce herself to someone and immediately she says, "and this is my little brother David." I love it.

Of course there is a lot he cannot do... but we are hopeful. He cannot dress himself, walk very far, or perform a lot of the three year milestones which are related to physical actions. He and I both get very frustrated when he falls ALL of the time... it's hard to watch somedays. But he pushes forward and perseveres. Life is busy! We still see the physical therapist and occupational therapist but have dropped speech therapy (he talks too well!). Each day is filled with much to do and more to learn! 

Happy Birthday David! You are loved!

Merry Christmas!

 A family portrait with the Yuma valley and foothills behind us! Oh and a sunset...

My two precious babes! 

Merry Christmas!

a birthday note

Life is moving forward, though I long for my sweet mom to be around. Just to talk. I have been experiencing the "normal" parts of grief and post traumatic life event...

Sorrow.
Guilt.
Anger.
Anxiety.

I don't like the normal, though I want to deal with it now, not when I'm older...As the days go on, I am feeling more normal again though having moments of heartache and sorrow. I have amazing friends, family and my sweet sister to talk with and help me through all of the thoughts that linger. Sometimes I think about how life is so fragile, taken in a moment. Missing the chance to tell my mom how wonderful she was and that she was so instrumental in making me who I am today. That is something I have learned through this. I will not make that mistake again, I will use my time to tell others how I love them and cherish their place in my life. To tell them when they are great.

Today is my mom's birthday, she would have been 60. It has been 3 and a half months since she passed away. Oh how I miss her terribly! I was hoping to take her on a little getaway for her birthday, she loved to travel. (That's where I get it from!) But now she is enjoying a much more delightful place than anywhere on earth, heaven. That is what I will think on... ALSO, I will enjoy my dad! I have loved being able to talk with him more these days. He is a great dad and always there when you need him, I pray for him to have strength and peace in this time.

Here is my favorite picture of us.

This time of year will bring lots of memories to my mind, but I have decided to rejoice in them. I am truly thankful for all the time I had with my mom while she was still here and she loved Christmastime. She loved football and cold weather; hot tea and a good smelling candle. Happy Birthday mom, I miss you with all of my heart.

The Bible says in Romans 5:3-5,

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Hope does not disappoint... a friend of mine just had that tattooed on her arm. I love that. 
Next post I will give an update on David! 
 
 

 

a time for mourning... and a time for rejoicing

It's been a rough couple of days... I lost my mom Saturday (8/4).

Sometimes it's just hard to breathe. When I think about all of the things that I want to say or do, it gets overwhelming. I was always thought of my mom as young and spunky... no one expected such a sudden loss. The last time I talked to her she sounded like her normal cheery self.

We are having a memorial to honor my mom and I want to say a few words...

I was so grateful to spend a lot of time with her in the last 2 years
I needed a lot of help (with my son)
She was always there, just there, for whatever I needed.
never lacking in kindness or care.
We had more things to do, more things I wanted to say to her.
More time just being together, shopping, painting nails, playing and watching the kids grow, watching sports, who will cheer for the underdogs?
I will miss how she loved the holidays and traveling and all her cats...
I miss my mom's smell.
she always smelled so good, as cheesy as that sounds,
it was my mom.
She was a beautiful woman inside and out
I always admired that about my mom
her friendliness and her cheerful attitude
Although I hate that she is gone, I know that she is with the Lord and her parents who I know she has missed so much.

I will never forget you mom.

Here is a picture from my mom's memorial... a rough day but honoring my mom, it was very special to have so many family members come to honor her.

Now it has been almost a month, ... it is still so fresh on my heart. Tears still come for a moment here and there everyday. Why is it so hard not to think of the "what if's" and the I wish I would have said this or done that... I am working on that. Also, it's these times that I wish I were not a nurse, you can't turn off the nurse brain. Those of you who are, can understand what I am saying... The why's run deeper than the typical why's for a nurse or someone in the medical field. One day soon, I hope to shove those questions in my "gray" box, I call it... the one I put all my questions in only God can answer.

I loved my mom, she was not the typical mom to me that others have. Never nagging or giving unwanted advice, not pushy or overbearing. She was kind and easy-going. She was just there for me and our family, always. I have great memories of her. It's hard not to just want to call her and see what's going on, even if it is just nothing. It still feels like a terrible dream... I'm praying and leaning on God every minute of the day. Thank you so very, very much to those of you who knew and sent cards and words of encouragement, it means so much to my heart.

Ironically enough... our visits to Phoenix are becoming quite spread out. Thank the precious Lord that I was able to be up there for an appt. just the week before she passed. It was short but still time spent. And here is the reason to rejoice, David is doing so well. Our most recent visit to the developmental doctor was very encouraging! She with tears was so pleased with David's progress and the outcome he is having from such a hard start. She scored him very close to his normal age for development. He wouldn't count for her (even though he can count to 20!) and that would have given him a ton of points. My sweet boy is not walking yet but can take a few steps and his balance is getting better everyday. He speaks in full sentences... latest was, "Mommy, I want to take my milk in." Or I told him to put his clothes in the laundry basket and he says, "You do it." What?! I just laughed. Joel and I are constantly looking at each other and giggling, but knowing in our hearts what an amazing blessing we have. A time to rejoice, no doubt.

He continues to sing, sing, sing... so many songs I cannot name them all. Anywhere, anytime of the day... He knows his ABC's too. He loves to do what sissy does, but boy do they fight too! Anna is doing great as well. She definitely has some understanding regarding the death of my mom. We were reading a story out of her devotion the other day about Elijah and how he was taken up to heaven, and Anna blurts out, "Just like Grammy!!" It was very, very sweet and dear to my heart. She wears things in remembrance of Grammy, too.

On another note, Anna learned how to swim this summer and just this week how to SWING by herself! It is quite the milestone, especially for mommy. :) She loves to play the piano and even knows a few songs. She is just starting dance again at our church and continues with preschool.

We are also enjoying daddy's return home, with a nice vacation in July. It has been so sweet. The children took to him perfectly, giving him lots of love... here is the homecoming picture.

words, words, words

Hello!
The words are ever increasing from this little boy! He repeats, he says them on his own, new ones everyday, all day. Empty, Elmo, nose, eyes, bath, banana, keys, open, door, help me, go swimming, etc. Two word phrases, full sentences even. At this rate we are going to be kicked out of speech therapy! His latest and greatest, "Anna eating tacos." and "Help me open door". Or a cute one, "hold it" in manner of whatever is in my hands from the store and he wants it. :) Also, he is doing much better on the receptive side of language, able to recognize objects and pick them out of a crowd. He is doing great!

He is also working on walking! He is so close... probably my next post will be about that. He is, of course, cruising - holding everything around him to aid in his walking; using walls, pulling up on things with no handles, which is great for his balance. He loves to walk with the shopping cart (and refused to use a walker) He has actually taken, at most, 5-6 steps on his own! Can you believe it? I honestly didn't know when he would walk... of course I would love it to be as soon as possible for a variety of reasons. But I wasn't expecting so soon! He is not so confident yet but we are gaining ground every few weeks.

We are taking a new medication to help with his tight muscles and at even a small dose it has seemed to help a lot! He relaxes his left arm much more and therefore has more range of motion. I was a little leery about starting meds for him but this has proven to be beneficial.

Otherwise, we are doing our thing, lots of appointments... work one day a week at the hospital, lots of playdates with friends, swimming, and anticipating the joyous arrival of daddy!!!

a picture update

summer has begun... smoothies!

pool time... loves it.

building towers...

a little girl turned 4.

a pic from Easter.